This just got real.

Question:
When I was a boy, I was raped repeatally by a relative. (subject is male) Now that I am older, I prefer to have sex with other males. Did being raped by a man turn me gay?

She says:
While it is extremely unfortunate that you went through such an emotional turmoil when you were younger, the only effect it had on you is the effect you let it. If you prefer to have sex with males, then it is just your preference. Straight people do not grow up and have heterosexual sex because they were raped by the opposite sex. It happens, and it is always horrible. However, it does not determine our sexual preference later on in life. The only reason to blame your sexuality on your past experience is because you are now feeling guilty or wrong for wanting sex with men and now you are looking for something to blame it on. Stop looking. Blame is always a useless exercise and always succeeds in getting you no where. Figure out why you think having sex with a man is wrong and then work from there. As for the events that took place earlier in life, I just want you to know that there are plenty of hotlines and groups who are very well trained on this subject. The fact the you had the courage to talk to someone at all about your situation speaks volumes about you. You are a survivor and will get through this just fine.

He says:
Ok, since Lily just about took all the good advice, I choose to go on an analytical rant. Join me, won't you?

I do disagree with her on the fact that you are ashamed of your sexuality. It sounds to me as if you are simply searching for an answer, not necessarily someone to pass the blame to. This brings up a very valid question, why are we attracted to the things we are attracted to? Why is one guy into scat, while another can't get it up unless he's dressed up like a baby? Who the hell knows? We are the way we are, that's all there is to it. As long as what you're into isn't breaking any major laws or hurting anyone, I say embrace it. Life is full of too much bullshit to deprive yourself of another thing that makes you happy.

All this being said, that kind of abuse can seriously affect your sex life itself. For the first ten years of my life I went through a situation not unlike your own. While it didn't make me gay, quite the contrary actually, it did have a drastic effect on my attitude. To this day when I'm with someone new for the first time, I mentally won't allow it to. I get nauseous whenever another guy comes into my personal space, especially if I don't know them. I've also been obsessed with sex since way before most of my friends even knew what it was. Those are more likely to be the ramifications of some sick fuck doing what he did. Just know that you aren't alone, some people do feel your pain and I truly am sorry. The only other gems I have for you are to embrace the person you've become and leave the past behind you. It's where that shit belongs.