Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Davlin's Life Lesson #117
Sometimes it's better to regret the things you've done, then to spend your life wondering "what if" to the things you hadn't.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Davlin's Life Lesson #69. Heh heh 69
If the one you're following is standing still, it's time to find a new leader. After all, that's why I gave up on Christianity.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Davlin's Life Lesson #206
Never go way out in the middle of the woods somewhere with a shirtless hillbilly you just met at a gas station to buy pot.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I was gonna go as a french maid but decided on being a shitty friend instead.
Question:
My best friend has a large amount of self esteem issues. She will not even come to my Halloween party because other girls will be dressed sexy and cute! Also, she is thirty years old and has never had a real relationship. I think its because she is extremely picky about who she dates. She wants GQ model type men- and she is not cute- at all. How can I tell her she is reaching way out of her league without being terrible?
He Says:
So you've already gotten your costume picked out and decided to go as a judgmental bitch, is that about right? Seriously, that's fucked up. If she doesn't feel comfortable dressing like a whore, why hold that against her? You think she's not cute, so she needs to lower her standards? I'm starting to think she's not the one with the problems. Why is it that just because she has flaws, which EVERYone does, she needs to settle for any chud that comes along? I'm kind of with her. I'd rather die alone that be stuck with someone that I'm not happy with. Get the fuck over yourself and try being supportive. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?
She Says:
Tough question. Everything sounds better when you say it with roses. My plan would be to hand her a dozen red roses and a mirror. Works everytime. As far as her insecurities, if she is bringing them on herself I do not see why you should get involved. If she has not found a date in thirty years of life because she is going for guys way outside her league- give her subtle hints such as hooking her up with the star trekkers dating service. But when all else fails- that mirror roses thing will almost never backfire on you!
My best friend has a large amount of self esteem issues. She will not even come to my Halloween party because other girls will be dressed sexy and cute! Also, she is thirty years old and has never had a real relationship. I think its because she is extremely picky about who she dates. She wants GQ model type men- and she is not cute- at all. How can I tell her she is reaching way out of her league without being terrible?
He Says:
So you've already gotten your costume picked out and decided to go as a judgmental bitch, is that about right? Seriously, that's fucked up. If she doesn't feel comfortable dressing like a whore, why hold that against her? You think she's not cute, so she needs to lower her standards? I'm starting to think she's not the one with the problems. Why is it that just because she has flaws, which EVERYone does, she needs to settle for any chud that comes along? I'm kind of with her. I'd rather die alone that be stuck with someone that I'm not happy with. Get the fuck over yourself and try being supportive. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?
She Says:
Tough question. Everything sounds better when you say it with roses. My plan would be to hand her a dozen red roses and a mirror. Works everytime. As far as her insecurities, if she is bringing them on herself I do not see why you should get involved. If she has not found a date in thirty years of life because she is going for guys way outside her league- give her subtle hints such as hooking her up with the star trekkers dating service. But when all else fails- that mirror roses thing will almost never backfire on you!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Welcome to the 21st century. We have tolerance and ice cream shaped like dots!
Question:
I need help!! I just found out that my ex-husband is gay- the only thing is, he does not know I know and he has not told me or anyone else yet! What am I supposed to do? What do I tell our two kids?? I am so lost! What do you think?
He says:
I don't really know why this is an issue anymore. So your ex is gay, you now both have something in common!
What are you supposed to do? Why do you have to do anything? It's not really any of your business. As long as they are good to your kids, what's the problem? If you're worried about the introduction of homosexuality into your family's life becoming a poison that turns your kids into some meth head prostitutes, grow up. Homosexuals aren't a danger to the home. Us breeders have been fucking up our children for thousands of years.
And when dealing with your children, YOU don't tell them anything. You wait for him to come to you, the two of you talk it out and then tell the kids TOGETHER.
You're gonna be fine and so is your family. Learn to be progressive. Next time I'll break the news to you about segregation being over as well. You've had a big enough day today as it is.
She says:
Hey- this is great news!!! First of all, you do not have to deal with any pesky pride issues anymore. You turned your ex gay! You should not have any pride at all....anymore....ever. You made your ex like penis! That is how bad your vagina is. Never again will you have to deal with that. Good on ya.
Secondly, the situation could not be more perfect. Seriously. I know its shocking to learn this huge thing about the father of your children, however, since he has not directly spoken to you about it- you do not have to speak to him about it. You should use this time to think about how you feel, how it will affect your family and do some research. It is also actually better for your ex husband as well, because you are going to take the news a lot better when he tells you now that you have had time to know how you feel. You have had time to think about your exact reaction. He comes out of the closet, you get to act like an understanding adult (sneaky you..with your sneaky awful vagina) and your kids get two knowledgeable, supporting parents to help them cope with the news.
Ta-Da! Everyone is a winner when your ex-husband likes wiener!
I need help!! I just found out that my ex-husband is gay- the only thing is, he does not know I know and he has not told me or anyone else yet! What am I supposed to do? What do I tell our two kids?? I am so lost! What do you think?
He says:
I don't really know why this is an issue anymore. So your ex is gay, you now both have something in common!
What are you supposed to do? Why do you have to do anything? It's not really any of your business. As long as they are good to your kids, what's the problem? If you're worried about the introduction of homosexuality into your family's life becoming a poison that turns your kids into some meth head prostitutes, grow up. Homosexuals aren't a danger to the home. Us breeders have been fucking up our children for thousands of years.
And when dealing with your children, YOU don't tell them anything. You wait for him to come to you, the two of you talk it out and then tell the kids TOGETHER.
You're gonna be fine and so is your family. Learn to be progressive. Next time I'll break the news to you about segregation being over as well. You've had a big enough day today as it is.
She says:
Hey- this is great news!!! First of all, you do not have to deal with any pesky pride issues anymore. You turned your ex gay! You should not have any pride at all....anymore....ever. You made your ex like penis! That is how bad your vagina is. Never again will you have to deal with that. Good on ya.
Secondly, the situation could not be more perfect. Seriously. I know its shocking to learn this huge thing about the father of your children, however, since he has not directly spoken to you about it- you do not have to speak to him about it. You should use this time to think about how you feel, how it will affect your family and do some research. It is also actually better for your ex husband as well, because you are going to take the news a lot better when he tells you now that you have had time to know how you feel. You have had time to think about your exact reaction. He comes out of the closet, you get to act like an understanding adult (sneaky you..with your sneaky awful vagina) and your kids get two knowledgeable, supporting parents to help them cope with the news.
Ta-Da! Everyone is a winner when your ex-husband likes wiener!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Separation Sex
The Question
My husband and I have been separated for about 3 months now. In that time I have been with one other man. I have given it a lot of thought and I would like to get back together with my husband. Should I tell him about the other guy? We were separated, so I'm not sure if it's something he needs to know.
She says:
That is the one good thing about separations- the separation sex. The ultimate go-ahead, get out of jail free card.
Let us look at the facts- you were separated. I mean, how do you know he did not get a little action during that time? If your husband had sex with another woman, would you want him to tell you? Or would you want him to lie about it?
It comes down to this, If your goal is to rebuild a relationship with your husband, you better not lay the foundation with lies.
He says:
I kinda have to go with Lily on this one...to an extent.
It's true, if it was during a separation then it's fair game. When it comes to the disclosure of those trysts to your newly reconciled partner, it's not voluntary. If he asks however, I do think you have an obligation to tell him.
My husband and I have been separated for about 3 months now. In that time I have been with one other man. I have given it a lot of thought and I would like to get back together with my husband. Should I tell him about the other guy? We were separated, so I'm not sure if it's something he needs to know.
She says:
That is the one good thing about separations- the separation sex. The ultimate go-ahead, get out of jail free card.
Let us look at the facts- you were separated. I mean, how do you know he did not get a little action during that time? If your husband had sex with another woman, would you want him to tell you? Or would you want him to lie about it?
It comes down to this, If your goal is to rebuild a relationship with your husband, you better not lay the foundation with lies.
He says:
I kinda have to go with Lily on this one...to an extent.
It's true, if it was during a separation then it's fair game. When it comes to the disclosure of those trysts to your newly reconciled partner, it's not voluntary. If he asks however, I do think you have an obligation to tell him.
Monday, June 29, 2009
"Teacher, when's daddy coming back?" "Never, because he doesn't love you or mommy anymore."
Question:
My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. How much information should I give my child's teacher about the situation?
He says:
I'm assuming your kid's still in elementary school, because after that you're lucky if the teacher even knows their name. I didn't even know that this would be an issue. I suppose you should just tell them the basics, my husband and I are splitting and he/she should be treated with a little sensitivity. That's really all I have for this one. If all else fails, just do what my mom did. Throw a candy bar into the classroom and run like hell once the kid's distracted.
She says:
I know first hand the tragedy of divorce and the effects it has on you and your children. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a country to get them through a divorce.
You are completely right to be thinking about your child’s education in the midst of all that is going on. That shows how unselfish you are.
Teachers have unique careers that allow them to see it all. No matter what your current family situation is, they have seen it and worse. They are special people who through experience and education know how to be non-judgmental when it comes to family matters. There is no reason to be worried about being judged by your child’s teacher. I think it is very important to let your teacher know what is going on with your family in a non-biased way.
For instance, your teacher knowing that your child might be having a difficult time might help explain some possible behavioral issues that can be addressed differently than normal disciplinary procedures. It might explain a possible lack of interest in education and class work. Knowledge is power and you and your teacher need to be well equipped with as much knowledge as possible to assure that your child get the education he needs. Leaving a teacher in the dark about these serious issues may cause more stress on your child. For example, your child starts skipping classes or starts acting out and the teacher, per normal disciplinary procedures, gives your child time out, detention, you might even start receiving negative notes home. This will only add to your child’s current stress. However, if the teacher had the basic knowledge of why this child might be acting out, then he/she could find more constructive ways of dealing with the negative behavior.
Be sure that when you are explaining the situation to your teacher that it is all you are doing. Explain only. Do not vent. Although knowledge is power, your child’s teacher does not need to know who is getting the house, the grounds for divorce or anything that would put the other parent in a negative light. When it comes to your child’s education and emotional health-, it is not about you. It takes a village, and all those village members need to stay focused on the well-being of the child only.
This is most likely one of the hardest thing you and your children will go through together. It sounds like you are already on the right track with the appropriate concerns.
Good luck to all of you.
If you have a question you would like answered, email us at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. How much information should I give my child's teacher about the situation?
He says:
I'm assuming your kid's still in elementary school, because after that you're lucky if the teacher even knows their name. I didn't even know that this would be an issue. I suppose you should just tell them the basics, my husband and I are splitting and he/she should be treated with a little sensitivity. That's really all I have for this one. If all else fails, just do what my mom did. Throw a candy bar into the classroom and run like hell once the kid's distracted.
She says:
I know first hand the tragedy of divorce and the effects it has on you and your children. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a country to get them through a divorce.
You are completely right to be thinking about your child’s education in the midst of all that is going on. That shows how unselfish you are.
Teachers have unique careers that allow them to see it all. No matter what your current family situation is, they have seen it and worse. They are special people who through experience and education know how to be non-judgmental when it comes to family matters. There is no reason to be worried about being judged by your child’s teacher. I think it is very important to let your teacher know what is going on with your family in a non-biased way.
For instance, your teacher knowing that your child might be having a difficult time might help explain some possible behavioral issues that can be addressed differently than normal disciplinary procedures. It might explain a possible lack of interest in education and class work. Knowledge is power and you and your teacher need to be well equipped with as much knowledge as possible to assure that your child get the education he needs. Leaving a teacher in the dark about these serious issues may cause more stress on your child. For example, your child starts skipping classes or starts acting out and the teacher, per normal disciplinary procedures, gives your child time out, detention, you might even start receiving negative notes home. This will only add to your child’s current stress. However, if the teacher had the basic knowledge of why this child might be acting out, then he/she could find more constructive ways of dealing with the negative behavior.
Be sure that when you are explaining the situation to your teacher that it is all you are doing. Explain only. Do not vent. Although knowledge is power, your child’s teacher does not need to know who is getting the house, the grounds for divorce or anything that would put the other parent in a negative light. When it comes to your child’s education and emotional health-, it is not about you. It takes a village, and all those village members need to stay focused on the well-being of the child only.
This is most likely one of the hardest thing you and your children will go through together. It sounds like you are already on the right track with the appropriate concerns.
Good luck to all of you.
If you have a question you would like answered, email us at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a prozac today.
Question:
I run into depression about 3 to 4 times a year, every year since I was about 12 (I'm 16). I go to counselors, and all that other stuff. They've given me things like zoloft, and prozak and all that shit, but it just doesn't work for me. This was the year that I attempted suicide, I spent 2 days in the hospital. They were going to institutionalize me, but they didn't. Ever since then I've been in and out of the hospital for stupid nonscence, but after awhile I got over it. Everything seemed to get a lot better, but now, it's all coming back. I cut off a lot of people from my life, and quite actually completly ignored them, and now I'm stuck with the why's and what's. Now I'm trying to fix broken relationships, and hopefully repair all my "burnt bridges." Now, for the problem, or the thing I needed help with. I want to get my peers back, I want to go out and have fun, but the energy and the want is gone. Like, when I think about it I really want to do it, and I really want to figure it out, but when the time comes to do it I back out. I don't know why I can't just jump back into my old life. I guess I just need modivation, but I just don't know who to get it from. Maybe you can help.
He Says:
I wish I could give you some magic advice here that would be an instant cure for depression...but I don't. Trust me, I'd have used that shit years ago. Here's what I can tell you.
As far as medications go, you have to take the fact that everyone's body chemistry is different into consideration. I personally went through a variety, some with disastrous results, until I found the right combination that let me function with out breaking down on an hourly basis. If you already feel that it's not for you, then stick with that, but don't think it's pointless. Hell,right now I'm on three regular prescriptions and vicodin because my jaw hates me and I'm feeling preeeety good.
You say you've been in the hospital for stupid nonsense that you got over later on. The key here is this; when something happens to you and it upsets you, analyze it. Think about it from every angle. How it affects you now, how it will in the next day, week, months. When we're in the midst of depression/mania it's hard to see the big picture. It's all about slowing your mind down enough to realize it's nonsense before it goes too far.
Repairing those broken relationships is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but I commend you for trying. These people have probably been burnt, seen you at your worst and fluctuate between that and happy too many times to count. So, now when you tell them you're ok, they won't believe you because it's the same old song. Explain to them that you're not better, completely, but you are working on it. Relapses are going to happen, it's inevitable. If they don't understand that, they're not the kind of solid foundation you need.
The hard truth is that you may never be able to jump back into your 'old life'. People grow, change and move on. This could be what's happening here. You can't force it, that'll make it worse. If you're not in the mood to go out, don't beat yourself up over it. Don't let anyone else do this either. The only thing I can really tell you is to take things at your own speed. There's no rush, in fact rushing could be what got you in this mess to begin with.
She Says:
Get your motivation from yourself and stop whining.
Speaking of medication, when your dog dies, you do not need Prozac or any other of the stupid highly advertised mind-altering drugs out there. I cannot believe that this started when you were twelve and no one thought to let you ride out your puberty sober. Hormones are crazy natural things that are meant to be dealt with. Your problem is you do not deal with them. You actually do nothing. I am supposed to give you some golden advice on how to stay motivated as if you will actually take it. You are sad. I am sad. Lets all just be sad together and listen to emo songs and have a read aloud suicide note story time. Seriously? Suck it.
You want your peers back. Let me ask you- what exactly do you do all day? Who do you interact with? Do you actually want to get your peers back? Or do you just want another thing in your life to whine about because you want to fit in with all the other medication carrying pubescents?
Get out! Walk everyday and stop feeding your face with Taco Bell and Ramen Noodles. Stop whining. Stop feeling oh so sorry for yourself and talking about your so called damned depression. I have found that the majority of depressed people I meet are also the most egocentric cheese brains. You have made me so upset that I have come up with the term “cheese brains.” That is most likely the most productive thing you have done this year. Good on ya, it is only June!
No offense to Davlin and Myself, but our little advice blog will not be your motivation. If you want to do something, you will do it. I do not want you to be depressed. I know that some people out there do suffer from chemical imbalances and medication may help. It should not be a first resort or ever prescribed to any one younger than 18, in my unprofessional opinion. If you have mild depression (which it seems you do, only having occurrences every so often) then get an intercoursin’ gym membership. Meet new people if you are scared to re-connect with your old ones. Get involved in something. A charity, a sport, a club- anything that does something good for someone other than yourself. At the very least, stop wasting your time looking for motivation outside yourself.
Maybe then, you will start improving (or at least start living) your life and your brain will become less cheddar-y.
Well, that's all for today. If you'd like us to help you out, or feel worse about yourself I'm not sure which, then put down the razorblade and drop us a line at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
I run into depression about 3 to 4 times a year, every year since I was about 12 (I'm 16). I go to counselors, and all that other stuff. They've given me things like zoloft, and prozak and all that shit, but it just doesn't work for me. This was the year that I attempted suicide, I spent 2 days in the hospital. They were going to institutionalize me, but they didn't. Ever since then I've been in and out of the hospital for stupid nonscence, but after awhile I got over it. Everything seemed to get a lot better, but now, it's all coming back. I cut off a lot of people from my life, and quite actually completly ignored them, and now I'm stuck with the why's and what's. Now I'm trying to fix broken relationships, and hopefully repair all my "burnt bridges." Now, for the problem, or the thing I needed help with. I want to get my peers back, I want to go out and have fun, but the energy and the want is gone. Like, when I think about it I really want to do it, and I really want to figure it out, but when the time comes to do it I back out. I don't know why I can't just jump back into my old life. I guess I just need modivation, but I just don't know who to get it from. Maybe you can help.
He Says:
I wish I could give you some magic advice here that would be an instant cure for depression...but I don't. Trust me, I'd have used that shit years ago. Here's what I can tell you.
As far as medications go, you have to take the fact that everyone's body chemistry is different into consideration. I personally went through a variety, some with disastrous results, until I found the right combination that let me function with out breaking down on an hourly basis. If you already feel that it's not for you, then stick with that, but don't think it's pointless. Hell,right now I'm on three regular prescriptions and vicodin because my jaw hates me and I'm feeling preeeety good.
You say you've been in the hospital for stupid nonsense that you got over later on. The key here is this; when something happens to you and it upsets you, analyze it. Think about it from every angle. How it affects you now, how it will in the next day, week, months. When we're in the midst of depression/mania it's hard to see the big picture. It's all about slowing your mind down enough to realize it's nonsense before it goes too far.
Repairing those broken relationships is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, but I commend you for trying. These people have probably been burnt, seen you at your worst and fluctuate between that and happy too many times to count. So, now when you tell them you're ok, they won't believe you because it's the same old song. Explain to them that you're not better, completely, but you are working on it. Relapses are going to happen, it's inevitable. If they don't understand that, they're not the kind of solid foundation you need.
The hard truth is that you may never be able to jump back into your 'old life'. People grow, change and move on. This could be what's happening here. You can't force it, that'll make it worse. If you're not in the mood to go out, don't beat yourself up over it. Don't let anyone else do this either. The only thing I can really tell you is to take things at your own speed. There's no rush, in fact rushing could be what got you in this mess to begin with.
She Says:
Get your motivation from yourself and stop whining.
Speaking of medication, when your dog dies, you do not need Prozac or any other of the stupid highly advertised mind-altering drugs out there. I cannot believe that this started when you were twelve and no one thought to let you ride out your puberty sober. Hormones are crazy natural things that are meant to be dealt with. Your problem is you do not deal with them. You actually do nothing. I am supposed to give you some golden advice on how to stay motivated as if you will actually take it. You are sad. I am sad. Lets all just be sad together and listen to emo songs and have a read aloud suicide note story time. Seriously? Suck it.
You want your peers back. Let me ask you- what exactly do you do all day? Who do you interact with? Do you actually want to get your peers back? Or do you just want another thing in your life to whine about because you want to fit in with all the other medication carrying pubescents?
Get out! Walk everyday and stop feeding your face with Taco Bell and Ramen Noodles. Stop whining. Stop feeling oh so sorry for yourself and talking about your so called damned depression. I have found that the majority of depressed people I meet are also the most egocentric cheese brains. You have made me so upset that I have come up with the term “cheese brains.” That is most likely the most productive thing you have done this year. Good on ya, it is only June!
No offense to Davlin and Myself, but our little advice blog will not be your motivation. If you want to do something, you will do it. I do not want you to be depressed. I know that some people out there do suffer from chemical imbalances and medication may help. It should not be a first resort or ever prescribed to any one younger than 18, in my unprofessional opinion. If you have mild depression (which it seems you do, only having occurrences every so often) then get an intercoursin’ gym membership. Meet new people if you are scared to re-connect with your old ones. Get involved in something. A charity, a sport, a club- anything that does something good for someone other than yourself. At the very least, stop wasting your time looking for motivation outside yourself.
Maybe then, you will start improving (or at least start living) your life and your brain will become less cheddar-y.
Well, that's all for today. If you'd like us to help you out, or feel worse about yourself I'm not sure which, then put down the razorblade and drop us a line at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
Monday, June 8, 2009
This just got real.
Question:
When I was a boy, I was raped repeatally by a relative. (subject is male) Now that I am older, I prefer to have sex with other males. Did being raped by a man turn me gay?
She says:
While it is extremely unfortunate that you went through such an emotional turmoil when you were younger, the only effect it had on you is the effect you let it. If you prefer to have sex with males, then it is just your preference. Straight people do not grow up and have heterosexual sex because they were raped by the opposite sex. It happens, and it is always horrible. However, it does not determine our sexual preference later on in life. The only reason to blame your sexuality on your past experience is because you are now feeling guilty or wrong for wanting sex with men and now you are looking for something to blame it on. Stop looking. Blame is always a useless exercise and always succeeds in getting you no where. Figure out why you think having sex with a man is wrong and then work from there. As for the events that took place earlier in life, I just want you to know that there are plenty of hotlines and groups who are very well trained on this subject. The fact the you had the courage to talk to someone at all about your situation speaks volumes about you. You are a survivor and will get through this just fine.
He says:
Ok, since Lily just about took all the good advice, I choose to go on an analytical rant. Join me, won't you?
I do disagree with her on the fact that you are ashamed of your sexuality. It sounds to me as if you are simply searching for an answer, not necessarily someone to pass the blame to. This brings up a very valid question, why are we attracted to the things we are attracted to? Why is one guy into scat, while another can't get it up unless he's dressed up like a baby? Who the hell knows? We are the way we are, that's all there is to it. As long as what you're into isn't breaking any major laws or hurting anyone, I say embrace it. Life is full of too much bullshit to deprive yourself of another thing that makes you happy.
All this being said, that kind of abuse can seriously affect your sex life itself. For the first ten years of my life I went through a situation not unlike your own. While it didn't make me gay, quite the contrary actually, it did have a drastic effect on my attitude. To this day when I'm with someone new for the first time, I mentally won't allow it to. I get nauseous whenever another guy comes into my personal space, especially if I don't know them. I've also been obsessed with sex since way before most of my friends even knew what it was. Those are more likely to be the ramifications of some sick fuck doing what he did. Just know that you aren't alone, some people do feel your pain and I truly am sorry. The only other gems I have for you are to embrace the person you've become and leave the past behind you. It's where that shit belongs.
When I was a boy, I was raped repeatally by a relative. (subject is male) Now that I am older, I prefer to have sex with other males. Did being raped by a man turn me gay?
She says:
While it is extremely unfortunate that you went through such an emotional turmoil when you were younger, the only effect it had on you is the effect you let it. If you prefer to have sex with males, then it is just your preference. Straight people do not grow up and have heterosexual sex because they were raped by the opposite sex. It happens, and it is always horrible. However, it does not determine our sexual preference later on in life. The only reason to blame your sexuality on your past experience is because you are now feeling guilty or wrong for wanting sex with men and now you are looking for something to blame it on. Stop looking. Blame is always a useless exercise and always succeeds in getting you no where. Figure out why you think having sex with a man is wrong and then work from there. As for the events that took place earlier in life, I just want you to know that there are plenty of hotlines and groups who are very well trained on this subject. The fact the you had the courage to talk to someone at all about your situation speaks volumes about you. You are a survivor and will get through this just fine.
He says:
Ok, since Lily just about took all the good advice, I choose to go on an analytical rant. Join me, won't you?
I do disagree with her on the fact that you are ashamed of your sexuality. It sounds to me as if you are simply searching for an answer, not necessarily someone to pass the blame to. This brings up a very valid question, why are we attracted to the things we are attracted to? Why is one guy into scat, while another can't get it up unless he's dressed up like a baby? Who the hell knows? We are the way we are, that's all there is to it. As long as what you're into isn't breaking any major laws or hurting anyone, I say embrace it. Life is full of too much bullshit to deprive yourself of another thing that makes you happy.
All this being said, that kind of abuse can seriously affect your sex life itself. For the first ten years of my life I went through a situation not unlike your own. While it didn't make me gay, quite the contrary actually, it did have a drastic effect on my attitude. To this day when I'm with someone new for the first time, I mentally won't allow it to. I get nauseous whenever another guy comes into my personal space, especially if I don't know them. I've also been obsessed with sex since way before most of my friends even knew what it was. Those are more likely to be the ramifications of some sick fuck doing what he did. Just know that you aren't alone, some people do feel your pain and I truly am sorry. The only other gems I have for you are to embrace the person you've become and leave the past behind you. It's where that shit belongs.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Relationships, Pillow Fucking and Chocolate.
Question:
Well where on earth should I start?
First of all I've hit a small writers block as of late and I'm not sure what's stumped me although it could be the various other issues buzzing around in my head. I am having issues with men as usual for I simply cannot seem to enter and stay in a meaningful relationship. I only know for fact one man recently who wanted to be serious with me and I found myself backing out of that relationship. I have even now grown more fond of him as I was never truly done with him emotionally, but the recent date between us seemed to have ended sourly when I accidently embarassed him by refusing his advances while he had his pants at his knees... I should not be ashamed to admit how many men I have had... sexual romps with, but I feel that I should be at times. It is not an outlandsh number, but I certainly am getting up there. I feel more in the ranks of a man whore than a socially accepted woman. 15 different men. Is that too many? I already think I should slow my roll, but am I freaking out over nothing? Is that ok? I remember all of their names if that's any consolation.... I mean really is it so wrong for a woman to enjoy sex? Granted I didn't want things to begin and end with Sex... Anyway it's getting to the point where I'm afraid to have sex with men because I think it will end up ending there... The one that was trying to be serious with me certainly scared me when we ended up having sex sooner than I wanted to and then I tried to kind of back out of sex and that lead to me backing out of the relationship... I certainly don't know what to do. I also find that I become attracted to men that are semi unattainable and when I say this I mean that they are single, but they are not near by. Other states and far off cities keep us apart. Why is it that online men seem to like me better? Anyway as a man I'm sure you could give me SOME sort of insight on how to have a guy commit to attempting a serious relationship with me... It may just be time for me to get out the rope and start hogtying me some men. They can't get away that way anyway haha.
He Says:
Writers block; it happens to the best of us. There's really nothing you can do, forcing it will just add to the frustration. Just take some time off and come back when inspiration strikes you. Or just sit down and write the first things that pop into your head. That's what I do and I get away with calling it art.
Next, you need to decide what makes a relationship meaningful. I agree with Lily, there are several things you have to be introspective about before you can try and take on someone else. How did you embarrass him with his pants down? Did you just shut the gate, so to speak, or did you laugh at him. The second one is very very bad. If you're honest with him, and yourself, I'm sure you can work thins out. If not, that means he's given up because you weren't ready to put out and that's not a relationship anyway. When it comes to sex, it's women that have all the power. And rightly so. You are letting someone else actually INSIDE you. Us guys don't consider it the same way. I knew a guy that used to fuck his pillow. Seriously.
Ah, yea. The magic number. If girls want to be equal to men, they need to get rid of the stigma. That's right, it's other women that make this an issue. As a guy, I know any girl I'm with has been with other guys, that's OK. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel like there is something wrong with it, that's you telling yourself to slow down, listen to that voice. And, most importantly, don't let ANYONE make you apologize for your past.
As for you falling for people online is simple; technology is ruining relationships. You fall for someone over the computer that you've never met because of the false sense of intimacy it provides. You can say anything, be yourself completely, yet still keep up your walls because there's a screen separating you. It's easy to be open when you don't have to look the other person in the eyes.
And with that, I'll leave you with this gem; never rule out hogtying, that's just good fun.
She Says:
Wow. We asked for one question and you brought us several. Was this really even about your writers block? Try writing porn. Sex romps on paper may not be best sellers, but you might get yourself out of writers’ constipation.
I know what you are going through and your concerns are completely justified. However, you have too many concerns. Your right- slow your roll, woman! You are focusing on many issues with yourself and not any solutions.
Now let us talk about the sex. You are so concerned about how much you enjoy sex. My advice: stop it. Who cares how many partners you have had as long as you are being careful? You like to ride. Who doesn’t? I like chocolate. I eat it a lot. In fact, I have eaten it more times than you have had sex. Do you think I am a bad person? Fuck you then! Just kidding, my point is everyone does what he or she enjoys and you just happen to enjoy a lot of in the bed disco. If you want to continue to enjoy sex, I suggest never getting married. Again, I am just kidding. Sort of. The problem is you do not have your craving under control. It is time for me to introduce….. Sex-Watchers! First date orgasm- 75,000 points. Third date orgasm- 2. You keep it under ten points and you will be gravy, baby.
When you meet a new man and you decide to go on a date, have a game plan. Promise yourself that no matter how much your thighs tingle with want, that you will not have sex with this person until *insert whatever date you want here*. That way, the relationship might actually become a relationship and you won’t have to worry about it beginning with sex. If you follow your game plan, reward yourself with a lovely bubble bath and some quality time with your vibrator. (Don’t have a vibrator? That might be the majority of your problem)
Now you have the no-sex secret. The next step in actually having a relationship is finding out why you are attracted to whatever is not attracted to you. This part is all you. No amount of vibrating stimulation is going to help you on this one. We are talking hard- core Freudian shit now. You claim you want to be in a relationship, yet you are constantly being involved with people and doing things to force you to play the role of booty call and not girlfriend. That says to me that you most likely do not want a relationship, and the question I have to ask there is why? Now, I do not know the answer. You do.
Once you figure all that out, call Mr. Woulda Been Serious and ask him on a date. Stick with the game plan, sister! Be strong. If all goes well, go on a second date. So on and so forth. Now run my little sex minion to the nearest New Fine Arts!
A little KY goes a long way!
And that does it for today. If you would like to comment or have a question you'd like us to ramble on about, email us at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
Well where on earth should I start?
First of all I've hit a small writers block as of late and I'm not sure what's stumped me although it could be the various other issues buzzing around in my head. I am having issues with men as usual for I simply cannot seem to enter and stay in a meaningful relationship. I only know for fact one man recently who wanted to be serious with me and I found myself backing out of that relationship. I have even now grown more fond of him as I was never truly done with him emotionally, but the recent date between us seemed to have ended sourly when I accidently embarassed him by refusing his advances while he had his pants at his knees... I should not be ashamed to admit how many men I have had... sexual romps with, but I feel that I should be at times. It is not an outlandsh number, but I certainly am getting up there. I feel more in the ranks of a man whore than a socially accepted woman. 15 different men. Is that too many? I already think I should slow my roll, but am I freaking out over nothing? Is that ok? I remember all of their names if that's any consolation.... I mean really is it so wrong for a woman to enjoy sex? Granted I didn't want things to begin and end with Sex... Anyway it's getting to the point where I'm afraid to have sex with men because I think it will end up ending there... The one that was trying to be serious with me certainly scared me when we ended up having sex sooner than I wanted to and then I tried to kind of back out of sex and that lead to me backing out of the relationship... I certainly don't know what to do. I also find that I become attracted to men that are semi unattainable and when I say this I mean that they are single, but they are not near by. Other states and far off cities keep us apart. Why is it that online men seem to like me better? Anyway as a man I'm sure you could give me SOME sort of insight on how to have a guy commit to attempting a serious relationship with me... It may just be time for me to get out the rope and start hogtying me some men. They can't get away that way anyway haha.
He Says:
Writers block; it happens to the best of us. There's really nothing you can do, forcing it will just add to the frustration. Just take some time off and come back when inspiration strikes you. Or just sit down and write the first things that pop into your head. That's what I do and I get away with calling it art.
Next, you need to decide what makes a relationship meaningful. I agree with Lily, there are several things you have to be introspective about before you can try and take on someone else. How did you embarrass him with his pants down? Did you just shut the gate, so to speak, or did you laugh at him. The second one is very very bad. If you're honest with him, and yourself, I'm sure you can work thins out. If not, that means he's given up because you weren't ready to put out and that's not a relationship anyway. When it comes to sex, it's women that have all the power. And rightly so. You are letting someone else actually INSIDE you. Us guys don't consider it the same way. I knew a guy that used to fuck his pillow. Seriously.
Ah, yea. The magic number. If girls want to be equal to men, they need to get rid of the stigma. That's right, it's other women that make this an issue. As a guy, I know any girl I'm with has been with other guys, that's OK. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel like there is something wrong with it, that's you telling yourself to slow down, listen to that voice. And, most importantly, don't let ANYONE make you apologize for your past.
As for you falling for people online is simple; technology is ruining relationships. You fall for someone over the computer that you've never met because of the false sense of intimacy it provides. You can say anything, be yourself completely, yet still keep up your walls because there's a screen separating you. It's easy to be open when you don't have to look the other person in the eyes.
And with that, I'll leave you with this gem; never rule out hogtying, that's just good fun.
She Says:
Wow. We asked for one question and you brought us several. Was this really even about your writers block? Try writing porn. Sex romps on paper may not be best sellers, but you might get yourself out of writers’ constipation.
I know what you are going through and your concerns are completely justified. However, you have too many concerns. Your right- slow your roll, woman! You are focusing on many issues with yourself and not any solutions.
Now let us talk about the sex. You are so concerned about how much you enjoy sex. My advice: stop it. Who cares how many partners you have had as long as you are being careful? You like to ride. Who doesn’t? I like chocolate. I eat it a lot. In fact, I have eaten it more times than you have had sex. Do you think I am a bad person? Fuck you then! Just kidding, my point is everyone does what he or she enjoys and you just happen to enjoy a lot of in the bed disco. If you want to continue to enjoy sex, I suggest never getting married. Again, I am just kidding. Sort of. The problem is you do not have your craving under control. It is time for me to introduce….. Sex-Watchers! First date orgasm- 75,000 points. Third date orgasm- 2. You keep it under ten points and you will be gravy, baby.
When you meet a new man and you decide to go on a date, have a game plan. Promise yourself that no matter how much your thighs tingle with want, that you will not have sex with this person until *insert whatever date you want here*. That way, the relationship might actually become a relationship and you won’t have to worry about it beginning with sex. If you follow your game plan, reward yourself with a lovely bubble bath and some quality time with your vibrator. (Don’t have a vibrator? That might be the majority of your problem)
Now you have the no-sex secret. The next step in actually having a relationship is finding out why you are attracted to whatever is not attracted to you. This part is all you. No amount of vibrating stimulation is going to help you on this one. We are talking hard- core Freudian shit now. You claim you want to be in a relationship, yet you are constantly being involved with people and doing things to force you to play the role of booty call and not girlfriend. That says to me that you most likely do not want a relationship, and the question I have to ask there is why? Now, I do not know the answer. You do.
Once you figure all that out, call Mr. Woulda Been Serious and ask him on a date. Stick with the game plan, sister! Be strong. If all goes well, go on a second date. So on and so forth. Now run my little sex minion to the nearest New Fine Arts!
A little KY goes a long way!
And that does it for today. If you would like to comment or have a question you'd like us to ramble on about, email us at disenchantedyouths@gmail.com
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Who wants some discount therapy?
Hello, there. My name is Davlin and I'm not accompanied by my partner Lily this evening. This means I'll have a rare opportunity to say pretty much whatever I want on this entry. Poop. See? Freedom is fun!
Sorry, it's out of my system now. This site that you have stumbled upon or had shoved down your throat by us is here to help you. First, I should probably mention for legality reasons that neither of us have any psychological experience (not from the doctor's side, anyhow) and take the advice we give at your own risk. If you're wondering why we're even qualified to do this, well, we really aren't. But if you check out my blog, you'll see how truly fucked up I am and know that I will give good advice on how not to repeat any of my mistakes.
As I said earlier, this site has been created for YOU. If there's anything you wanna talk about, and I do mean anything, just email it to disenchantedyouths@gmail.com. I guarantee you it will at least be entertaining.
Hope to hear from you,
Davlin
PS: I want to apologize for how the site looks. It is only temporary and we will approve on the look and feel of everything in the weeks to come. One more time before I go. Poop.
Sorry, it's out of my system now. This site that you have stumbled upon or had shoved down your throat by us is here to help you. First, I should probably mention for legality reasons that neither of us have any psychological experience (not from the doctor's side, anyhow) and take the advice we give at your own risk. If you're wondering why we're even qualified to do this, well, we really aren't. But if you check out my blog, you'll see how truly fucked up I am and know that I will give good advice on how not to repeat any of my mistakes.
As I said earlier, this site has been created for YOU. If there's anything you wanna talk about, and I do mean anything, just email it to disenchantedyouths@gmail.com. I guarantee you it will at least be entertaining.
Hope to hear from you,
Davlin
PS: I want to apologize for how the site looks. It is only temporary and we will approve on the look and feel of everything in the weeks to come. One more time before I go. Poop.
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